LOST BUT DON'T KNOW WHERE

- September 16, 2020

Hey you ! How you have been doing ? I just have a simple question for you. Has it ever happened with you that you are just staring in the mirror and you feel so distant from your own self ? You don't know this new person. Does it ever happened with you, that you feel that you have lost a part of yourself.

The quarantine blues are giving us little too much to think about . I am just sitting here on my bed unable to sleep when I'm typing this out. Sometimes it feels that the voice inside you that used to guide you , give you answers is quiet for a while?

I can't help but think that why as we grow up, or why sometimes in general we feel so numb? You feel restless inside, but you don't have the energy to react or face it. You just feel distant, empty or basically disconnected. You don't know what your place is and you just don't have any idea.

LIFE. Why does it happens that we forget absolutely everything , that once was very important for us, just for running behind success. We keep on running after certain things without even realising that we are disconnected from so many things , so many people. Why do we know only one definition of success?Just to get that one thing, we are ready to sacrifice absolutely everything. Success, it's definitely something that I really want in my life, but it's not everything. Being a better version of ourselves, to be happy ,doing stuffs that makes you forget all your worries, spending time with people who feel like home , isn't this a success?

Why why why do we compare ourselves? I know it comes naturally, to compare ourselves with others, but we cannot deny the fact that God made everyone different.So their dreams , their definition of success will also be different, isn't it? When we can accept that everyone has their own perception, choices and hobbies , then why we compare ourselves and doubt our definition?

It seems like there is no way out, but there is. You were not like this and you can change your feeling. It might not happen in an hour, might not happen in a week. But if you keep going, it will eventually happen. To become a confident person, you have to act like a confident person. It's just like sleeping, you have to lie down ,shut your eyes and act like you are sleeping to actually fall asleep. If you don't shut your eyes, you won't be able to sleep. Similarly if don't embody a confident person, you won't be a confident person. Start by taking things slow. Try to remind yourself that this is not a permanent feeling and you will come out of it and if you will believe in yourself, you will regain yourself back. Why there is so much desperation for validation ? Let things take their own time. Maybe the universe has planned a better way to give you something that you want.

Are you afraid of falling, of taking risks , of being sure ? Just try doing the opposite of what your fears tell you to. Like take risks, explore, try out something new. Trust me you cannot do wonders unless you widen your horizon. Talk to yourself, or pen down down your feelings. Sometimes you just need to purge. Stop giving too much importance to the opinions of people you won't go for seeking advice! Talk to yourself, sit in peace for five minutes a day and pump up yourself.There is always hope.